Ideas to Heal With ~ from Christine

Hello Sweet Friends,     

Recently reading through some old writings of mine, I came across one that illustrated a time many, many moons ago when I wasn’t sure I could count on my own sense of resilience anymore. Yes, eventually, I rose and grew beyond the place I was, but it was indeed a healing empowering journey that followed. 

So, I thought I would share my writing from way back then, with you this week.  In essence sharing a deeper part of myself, my own journey which led me to becoming a life coach and share some thoughts about resilience in the process. 

I think it’s fair to say we are all familiar to some degree with the term “resilience” these days. It’s a concept made popular in our current self-empowerment culture which speaks to our ability to bounce back from the hard knocks of life, right? Well, today I want to offer you a little insight into what I know about resilience and how it relates to my own coaching mission to help woman heal from the hardest, deepest types of emotional wounds.  

Resilience is a slow developing emotional strength building process. It is a cumulative type of emotional strength - that requires intentional learning, practice, cultivation, and commitment.  Most of us would say we see ourselves as resilient because after all, we have managed the events of our life so far, and for the most part things have worked out pretty well for us. We are still standing. Right?  And it’s true, as Human Beings, we are born with an inherent energy of resilience, to some degree. For if not, we may not make it much past the birth canal experience – even if we are the most vulnerable of all mammals – we still have a “beginners” level of resilience.  After all, birth itself IS a truly traumatic experience – just look at the tiny quivering lips of an in the moment newborn and you will know.  

So, let’s say consider your level of resilience, which has served you well for most of your life. You have created a solid life account by making regular deposits of positive, self-affirming experiences - into your bank of emotional strength and grounding. It is a way of life for you. And - That’s wonderful. Because our basic levels of health and happiness maintenance are based on that solid emotional strength account which invites wonderful freedom to believe that life is good. And Life is Good for you. 

But what happens when we find ourselves suddenly working through what feels like a tsunami of traumatic life events such as divorce, betrayal, loss, death, heartbreak, and grief?  And just as soon as we think we have found the ground again, and can see the sky beyond the clouds, finally recovering from the last tough event, another one shows up and challenges us, dares us, to rise again.  Humans, no matter how strong, require recovery and healing space to build that reservoir of health, happiness and some ease to truly recover and build resilience again. 

How do we show up when we don’t have that gap to grow and to feel resilient again and again?  Or maybe, the last big trauma has put its hooks in us, and we have not been able to move beyond it and the pit of woe we are in just seems to get deeper and deeper. What then?  What powerful tools do you have to turn to in those moments or seasons -  to pull you up and through?    To support you when you fear the center will not hold? 

Well, my courageous friend, if that’s you or someone you know- then I’m speaking to you.  Because that’s what my coming program – “Fierce Forgiveness & Resilient Love Fundamentals” will intentionally immerse you in.  You will learn, share and practice to cultivate tools and skills to show-up for your challenging journey as a new more whole You.  Each of our life experiences is unique for sure and just as sure is the fact that the deep pain, the heavy emotional weight of burden and struggle, and the desire to feel “better”, able to breathe again and rise beyond it – is Universal.  

I know what that heavy place feels like, I have been there and because I have, I know the way up and out.  I’ve designed a program from my own experience, learning and coaching work with clients, for the last 10 years, that will provide 8 essential and fundamental elements to begin your own empowering and healing path.  And it all comes from resilient Love. More news on that is to come. 

Meanwhile, here is a 2010 true life heart writing of mine from the emotional pits of my world at that time. I journeyed up and out – several times since then. And Sweet Friend, I can show you how to as well. If you see yourself – I’d love to hear from you. Till then – LOTS OF LOVE. Christine

2010 cel…. Good Morning world…..  “How’s it going?” …….. “How are you?”………….

I’ve come to wonder, who was the individual who decided these were good questions to ask someone at greeting?  And more importantly, what is the true expectation of the answer they may hear?  Especially when the answer is NOT the mindlessly expected “fine!” …. Then what??

Does anyone really want to know?  I think not.  “Too much information…” became the next general response…then a nervous laugh.  But how fair is that? Seriously.  Don’t ask the question if you don’t want to know.  Or at least, give the person being asked the question a fair chance and ask…”How are you TODAY?”  …. Because at least... that’s manageable.

TODAY? Me?

I put the key in the door and turn….as I do every morning.  Today, however, as I enter, I can already feel the weight of the morning. The house is silent and still. Outside the birds are chirping and popping from tree to tree.  Children are noisily playing on the school grounds – and the hustle and bustle of the day is on – Alive!  

However, in this house – it is still. As I move down the dark hallway a chill radiates off the walls – no heat or warmth has been generated to welcome this morning.  Softly knocking, there’s a muffled whimper from inside the bedroom. As I enter only dark hair peeks out to me from the mound of bed covers. The bedside clock brightly informs me of the lateness of the day in its deepest blood red digits. I bend to gently stroke the dark tossed tresses that drape the pillow, to ease into the awareness that I am here.  Compassionately petting her soft familiar face, still hiding, alone and worn.  “Another day”… I gently whisper… “we must get up now and get on with the day….”

A deep and penetratingly heavy breath escapes from the depths of the heart abyss. A signal to proceed – our tribe’s acquired language – learned through friendship – strong and trusted.  Carefully unwinding and slowly stretching, flexing all the muscles, and acknowledging the unconvinced thoughts to move forward, from behind the eyelids closed …still being entertained by the moving colors & fluid senses of those private closed safe moments of sleep.  Hesitant to leave this non-threatening, warm comforting spot – just to shift into the day at hand.  A day no doubt soon to be filled with ~ too much, too full, too heavy with life’s events, crisis, and needs.

“Stay in BED!!!” she protests.  The desire I can see is strong and clear - but “rise we must…” I remind. “Come on … I will help you…dear”.  First our legs move and drop over the edge of the bed, then our arms and head will follow…. limp body, hanging head… still soon, we are resting on the edge  -so high.  The inner struggle, the pull, tilted head draped in long hair. I sit beside and wrap arms to hold for loving support…just for a moment. What can it hurt?  

 A few minutes delay, to gather thoughts, time to reach down inside and pull another day’s worth of life out.  Finally, standing up in energy, facing forward, ready to lift… face to face and smile to smile…. I look into a mirror to see… it’s me.”